Monday, June 7, 2010

I saw this little girl - and she was a cute little girl, but her clothes!! She was dressed just awful. I hate to say it but very dorky looking. I am sure kids at school would make fun of her. My 1st thought was "why would her mother even buy those clothes let alone let her wear them?"

Them I look over at Alex. She has her beautiful pink flower dress on. Her sport socks inside out and pulled up to her knees and her black skull running shoes. I hate it when people make snap judgments about her appearance. They don't know about her clothing issues. There is a reason she dresses like that.

Yet in spite of the fact that I have a kid with issues, and I hate when other people judge Alex's appearance, I did the same thing. You would think that because I live it everyday I would be more in tune with it, yet I'm not. I guess it is something I have to work on.

We set up the trailer this weekend. Alex explored the camp. We found 2 clams with clams inside. Normally I only find empty shells. We put them in a bug box and watched them come out and go back in. It was neat!

Alex played with some of the kids at the park. I really could see how much her social skills are lacking. This one little girl was trying really hard to play with her and Alex wasn't helping at all.

What's your name? - Alex
Do you want to play tag? - No
Do you want to build a castle? - No
How old are you? - 7

At no point did Alex engage in a conversation with her. Just 1 word answers. I know Alex wanted to play with her but she just doesn't have the social skills. We use to roll play. I took her to play group 2x a week for years. I guess we still need to work on it. Even when she did start to play with the other kids (with some help from me) she seamed a lot younger then the other kids - even though they were the same age. Just the way they acted and played.

I am guessing this is because she is an only? Or is it something else? When she went for all that testing aspergers was thrown around. Now I don't think she has that. I do wonder if her lack of social skills is something more then just being an only.

I mean she has had plenty play dates and kids to play with. Is it just her personality? Is it because she is an only? Is it because I failed to install them? I admit it - I am awful at making friends. I can make acquaintances fine. But I have trouble taking that next step. As result I have always had maybe 1 close friend at a time and that is it. This makes me think my lack of skill in that department has rubbed off on her.

Anyway back to the trailer. We got it mostly set up. Troy forgot some tools so he will have to set up the sewage and propane next weekend. It will be just Alex and him at the trailer - should be interesting. It was brought to my attention last night that Troy and Alex have never slept away from home without me before. I always deal with Alex. She always has trouble going to sleep in different places. So it should be a good experience for them. I am interested to hear how the weekend goes.

There was a lot of kids at the park without adults there. I was the only adult. The kids ranged from 2 years old up to 8. I notices a few of the kids came from near by trailers so their parents could watch them from the trailer. But others biked to the park. Is 8 old enough to be off on your own on a bike at a camp ground? I mean it would be so much more convenient is Alex could just go to the park on her own. It is just up the road - however you can't see it from our site. I am just not comfortable with it. Maybe after we have been there a while it will be different. I don't know. I know I am over protective and sometimes it is hard to decide if I am hovering or not. How do you know?

I wish I had some funny Alexisms to add. But I just can't think of any right now.

So that's the report for today. Have a coke and a smile.


  1. There is a part of social skills that is learned; that you have taught Alex. There is another level that is inherant in the person, and no matter how hard my mother beat it into me, it didn't stick... uh.. yeah.
    Sometimes, no amount of telling or teaching, modelling or memorising, will give a person the skills that others seemed to have a simply acquired at birth.

    Also, each person has their own internal schedule, and as parents it is all we can do to best coax out the skills as they start to develop. I know that there are some stories that my mom told and told and told and told.. and it wasn't that I wasn't listening, I heard the story... but it was as though I couldn't follow through..
    IT is hard enough now to realise, that not everyone wants to know when they are wrong..

    Uh.. not that you are wrong in this blog...
    or .. that..

    You are doing a great job! Both with Alex, and with helping the rest of the world that you touch put life into perspective!

    Chi Meegwetch!

  2. Sounds exactly like my kid, seems younger and doesn't interact well with others. She is also better with kids that are younger than her. She also wears dresses with white sport socks but sadly no skull shoes!

  3. Kathleen in CanadaJune 10, 2010 at 10:33 PM

    She sounds a lot like Kate at that age and she has a formal diagnosis of Aspergers now. But these skills can be learned with time and lots of patience.