Monday, March 23, 2009

bag of steamers

you know there is a reason I don't have dogs. A good reason! We are at Mom's and Alex wants to walk her 3 dogs (a wiener dog, poodle type dog and a black lab). So I agree to go around the block with her. So here I am walking with one dog who is strangling itself trying to go and the other dog I am practically dragging around the block. If that isn't bad enough I have to stop and pick up steamers. Now Alex thinks this is hilarious. Me trying to juggle the 2 dogs and pick up crap at the same time.

See I have 2 cats. Yes I have to clean up their crap, but I don't have to walk around the block with it. I don't have to pick it up off someones lawn while they watch me.

Alex got some entrainment out of it, the dogs got some exercise and I got 3 bags of steamers. They fun never ends!

Mom has bought her 3rd house. They plan on fixing this one up and renting it out. So mom asked D if he wasn't working this summer if he could come up and help reno it. Now if this was MIL I'd be all for it. He would be getting paid and learning about something he wants to do (he wants to build houses).

However mom's boyfriend drinks a lot. And he drives drunk. And he grows and smokes pot. And again drives. So when we got in the car, I told D he wouldn't be able to do it. I told him I wasn't answering a bunch of questions on why. I am only saying it isn't an appropriate place for him and I know CAS would not approve of it.

D is mad at me. He really wanted to do it. But I am not going to put him in that kind of situation. I wouldn't be surprised if moms boyfriend offered him a drink or some pot. He has never done this (to be clear) but it wouldn't surprise me.

It kills me because this isn't the same mom I grew up with. Mom was 100% against drinking and driving (now she defends him) and 100% against drugs (now she laughs about it). Mom is so afraid to be alone. She changes to be like the person she is with. I don't know Mom. I don't know if I ever have. I mean the mom I knew growing up, was she just like that because that's how my step father was? Or was that the real mom? I just don't know.

I hate to bring Alex there. I hardly ever go and when we do I find something to do outside to the home. Like Sunday we picked up mom and went to the flea market. Mom doesn't get why Alex sleeps over at MIL's and not her house. I never thought in my life I would have to tell my mom that her grand kid can't sleep over because or the drinking and drugs that goes on at her house. Never in a million years did I think I would have this problem.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Alex is sick...AGAIN!!

She was at Grandma's for 2 days (1 night). Grandma said she started having the runs as soon as she got there. Sigh! I guess Alex woke Grandma up at 3am asking if she had any spare underwear. Alex tried to wash her in the sink but she couldn't get them clean enough to put back on, lol. What a cutie.

D just asked Alex if she farted. Alex replied, "If I did fart I'd have poop running down my leg right now. Does it look like I have poop running down my leg?"

Least she is in good spirits. When I was taking her to Grandma's she said her tummy hurt but I didn't pay much attention to it. Alex fakes sicks daily. Guess it was real this time.

I told Alex about me having an Olympic athlete in me and she told me she was the Olympic athlete and she had already come out. Then she finished up by explaining a proper diet to me and offering exercise classes. For those who don't remember, Alex's exercise classes are brutal! I passed. I'd rather be fat, lol.

The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.

A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...

"Shit" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the town hall.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I've got a penpal you know!!

Alex got her 1st letter today from her new penpal. She is walking around the house saying "I've got a penpal, you know!" LOL She is so excited.

Alex comes out of the bathroom the other day steaming mad. She starts yelling at Dad and I. "How hard is it to change the toilet paper? How come every time I use the bathroom I have to change the roll? It's not hard to change the roll, you know. Even the 6 year old can do it! Geez!"

So then (I assume in protest) she has started putting the empty rolls of toilet paper back in the extra roll holder,lol.

I was watching TV last week and a commercial comes on saying we all have an Olympic athlete in us. Well no wonder I am over weight! How long have I been carry this athlete around? If they are an athlete, why do I need to carry then around? They are fit and in shape, they should be carrying me! So no more diet and exercise (not that I really did) for me! Instead I am focused on getting this free loader out of me! Think about how much weight I will lose when I do that!

Alex wants a few blond streaks in her hair. I think when we go on Monday to get her hair cut I will ask the hairdresser what she thinks. Plus I am going to have her sit under the dryer to see if she can do it. I'd hate to get the colour in her hair and then she refuse!

I found out how to get Alex to clean her room. I told her she needed to clean her room so her friend could sleep over tomorrow night. Well she was gone in a flash! Now the question is, is it wrong of me to pretend someone is sleeping over every few weeks so she will clean her room? Then after I will tell her they canceled? LOL. Now that I think about it, the freak out over them canceling will be worse then the freak out over cleaning her room.

Signs you drink too much coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

time flies!!

Been 8 days since I was last here?? WOW!! I bought the twilight series so I have been busy reading. Plus working. And appointments on top of that. Did you all miss me?

What to type and where to start??

Oh...So Alex comes home from school (one day last week) and heads straight for her room and calls out "If anyone is looking for me I'll be in my closet blowing things up!"

Got to love a kid who can entertain them selves!

The turkey

So I put a turkey in the fridge to thaw out. The same day at 4pm D opens the fridge and we have the following conversation...

D-we're having turkey for dinner tonight?
me-what do you think?
D-I don't know. There is a frozen turkey in the fridge so it looks like we are.
me-how long will it take to thaw?
D-few days
me-how long will it take to cook?
D-few hours
me-so do you think we are having it tonight?
D-I guess so!

Sigh! 5 mins later I hear him telling Alex we are having turkey for dinner that night.

D split model paint on his carpet. If that wasn't bad enough he scrubbed it to get it out. So it went from a 3 inch round spot to a 8 inch spot on his rug. Why he was working on models in his room instead of downstairs or the garage is beyond me. Either way, carpet is ruined. I guess on the plus side, it doesn't really matter what else he does to the carpet, it is ruined anyways. One less thing in life to worry about!

The tire

So I got 2 new tires. 1 blew and the other was close to needing to be changed anyways so I got 2 new front tires. The guys at the garage gave me the old tire in case I may need it on the back or something. I put it in the garage. Dh was poopy face over it. He wanted me to get rid of it. I said I would. I admit I forgot about it. Out of site out of mind. So he put in beside my car. Now my 1st thought was to put it by his truck and act like I didn't see it. But we just got over the laundry war, do I really want to start another? So I had D roll it up to the garage. now I kind wish I left it. It's fun having a "cold war" going on the house. I miss the laundry war.


Alex renames Fat Tony - Richard. Now she did this a while ago. Most of the times when she renames the cats it last for a day and then forgotten. Well he is still Richard. I think Richard is here to stay. Now I'm not sure what name I like better for him. Richard or Fat Tony? Fell free to leave comment and have your say on what one is better.

So this week at school is spirit week. Different things each day. Today is dress like your teacher day. So we go to value village and Alex is looking for something her teacher would wear. Well she choose this flashing red outfit with sparkles and lace. Says this is exactly like something her teacher would wear. Now her teacher is a devote catholic. She is an older lady who wears white knitted sweaters and is very very conservative. I wish I was there to see the look on her face when Alex walks in wearing that claiming to look like her, LOL

Motherhood - a precious gift

Brings a tear to your eyeseeing how tenderly creatures care for their babies

Monday, March 2, 2009

living with a bunch of sickos!!

Well we are all sick. Fun fun fun!!! Alex missed 4 days of school. I have missed 2 days of work (I replaced my shifts or else I would have gone in), Dh came home early last night and doesn't plan to go in tonight, Big says his ear hurts when he burps, then his eye hurts when he chews. No comment on that!

Why are men such babies when they are sick? My Dh goes between can't do anything to grown man without warning. So I will ask him if he wants some soup and he will say "I'm a grown man. If I want soup I can make it.". 5 mins later he will be whinning he wants a drink and please can I get it for him. He asked me not to take any call in shifts this week, He is too sick to look after Alex.

I have spent the last few days in the bathroom and yet no one helped me parent! No one offered anything to make me feel better. No one did anything to make my life easier.

Alex has renamed Fat Tony - Richard. Now she has renamed the cats many times. This is the longest she has stuck to the new name. When DH kicked Fatty off the couch Alex told him to show Richard some respect! LOL. Who names a cat Richard??

I order Alex a special bracelet and necklace. She loves to chew. She needs that oral stimulation. She chews her shirts and sleeves, hair, nails, anything really. So this necklace and bracelet is for kids who need oral stimulation. Basically it's a chew toy, LOL. It should come this week or next in the mail. I am interested to see how that goes over. I hope she likes it. I hate it when she tries to cuddle with you and she has slimy hair or clothes - eewwwww!!!!

I got the car trap on Sunday. Alex gets you trapped in the car with her and then she just talks and talks and talks. "At school I play crash with Tye. He is crash and I am coco. Sometimes when a bad guy is behind me I punch behind me to get him. Tye can run really fast but I can run faster. I can see though things. I can see though my hand. I can see though the car doors but (sniffle sniffle whine whine) no one believes me. Why won't anyone believe me? No one believe that I am the fastest runner in my school either. I can run faster then the grade 8's. I told Big D that my teacher took a vote to see who had the best Birthday party, I won by the way, and Big D didn't believe me. Why won't anyone believe me..."

Shut up shut up SHUT UP!! No I didn't really tell her to shut up, but man if she could read my mind she would be crying!! For some reason when ever she is in the car she just talks non stop!

We took Little D out to dinner plus their little sister T. Little D has gotten worse. I don't know if it is because he hates where he is so much or if it is anger at me for having him moved. The last few times we have seen him he is filled with anger. He snaps at me and gives me real short answers. He is like that with us all. Basically it is like he just got in major poo poo at home before he came out with us. I have asked him if everything is OK and he is short with me. Even his Grandparents have noticed this. I feel bad for him and helpless. What can I do? I keep telling him he is welcome to call anytime if he wants to talk.

Big D wants him to do all our summer stuff with us. So far we have planned Canada's wonderland and a week of camping. I understand Bid D wanting us to do that, however Little D has ruined every family vacation we have had since he came to us. He is always grumpy and yelling at everyone. Having tantrums over everything. I don't know. I'll be honest I would rather do a bunch of local day trips with him. I don't want our big trips to be ruin, yet again. With his increased anger and attitude towards everyone...

Poor Little D. I really wish I could have helped him more. I can't imagine what it is like to be him. I can't imagine living in a world where no one wants me. I really wanted things to work out with him.

Anyways, Alex and I saw mall cop on Sunday. I knew Alex would not like it. But she insisted. I told her we were not leaving half way though if she didn't like it. She said that was OK. Half way though...I'm bored. Suck it up buttercup!! We are staying for the whole thing! And we did. She was pretty well behaved. However she kept asking questions every 2 seconds. How come they did this? Why are they doing that? What happened to so and so? sigh

Alex is making life altering decisions. She is trying to decide is she should be a scientist or a singer or a talent show performer when she grows up. I say do then all!! Maybe she will end up rich and I can sponge off her!! She can take me to the stores and I can beg for things! Oh what fun it will be!! Think of the great old age home I will be in!!

Things kids have learned

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

Oh it was so cold outside this morning Alex and I both had snotcicles while waiting for the bus. Been a long time since I had those!

Has anyone tried threading? I am trying his for hair removal. It is interesting. Sorry If I am typing funny Alex is now crawling on me. She is trying to get beside me on the couch (so between me and the back of the couch). What a goof ball!! Oh sorry she isn't Alex she is Mimi the cat. Mimi is her alter ego. Oh great now she is purring and rubbing up against me. Stinking cat!!!

Oh well that's all for now. Don't forget to comment even if it is just to say hi.

Over and out