back again

I took Alex to the doctors for a follow up to her UTI. The doctor wanted to know why we came in. I explain the doctor at the hospital said our family doctor needed records of each UTI in case they become conic and told us to book a follow up appointment. The doctor said that was jumping the gun but put it all in the computer anyway.

I also asked about Alex getting an itchy throat when she eats fruit and veggies. I explain that Troy has the same thing. The doctor asked if Troy had seen his doctor about it and I told him - the last time he went in for something he ended up getting a needle and a colonoscopy. The doctor smiled and said that would do it and then he got all serious and asked - did he go in for an oral allergy and end up with a colonascopy? I said no, lol.

So Alex is being refereed to a allergist in Kingston.

Troy and Alex spent a weekend together at the trailer. It went well. Only 1 freak out and it was minor. Alex declared that Dad was only good for farting and burping, lol.

Alex has decided she doesn't like grade 3. The work is harder and she gets more homework. I hate doing homework with her. It is like pulling teeth. I am making it consistent so we do it at the same time each night.

I got new glasses and no one noticed!! Now I admit the are the same shape as my old ones, but the are very different. Poor me, lol.

And now on to some deep thoughts...

Alex and I were walking and just out of the blue she hugged me and said she loved me. It was one of those moments that parents live for. When all the troubles and worry melt away and you only feel love in that moment. But it got me thinking...

When was the last time I gave my mom a real I love you? I mean each time we talk I say love you when I hang up. But it is meaningless and just like saying good bye. When I visit I hug her when I leave but again it isn't an I love you hug.

I think the last real time I gave my mom a real I love you would have been 13 or 14 years ago. I was living on my own - dirt poor and couldn't afford gifts for Christmas. So I wrote my mom and step dad a letter. A real I love you letter and thanking them for the things they had done. They had both cried when they read them. My step-father carried his around in his wallet until he died - I found that out when he died.

Now on one hand I feel really bad for not giving my mom more real I love yous. I know as a parent how wonderful that feeling is. But at the same time - well if you knew the things she did and what not you would probably understand why I don't.

I am jealous of those people who have that deep bond with their mothers. I want that. But I also know I will never get it with my mom. That saddens me. I really hope Alex and I have it. I would hate for her to feel about me the way I feel about my mom.

But my question for you all is - when is the last time you gave your mom a real I love you? Think about it.