And then there was one.

You know, you wake up in morning and have a general idea of how your day is going to go. Sometimes it doesn't go that way, but I think most of the time it does.

I got up this morning knowing I had to go to work, then Alex had brownies tonight. I was going to do my shopping while she was at brownies. Then home and early to bed.

I went to work and that pretty much was normal. I got home and D's school called to tell me he is failing the only class he needs to pass in order to graduate. He has handed in nothing so the teacher has nothing to mark. He sleeps though most of her classes.

When D got home I relayed this him and said maybe he needs to go to bed earlier so he isn't sleeping in class. He start talking back and DH jumped in and told him if he plans to stay here he needs to show me some respect. He also said D needs to apologize to me.

D responded with, "Got boxes? I'm moving out." D made a few calls, pack his stuff and left.

He is signing himself out of care. By doing this he is loosing his braces, $850 a month from the time he is 18 till 21 (he will be 18 in Aug.), I don't know if he plans to continue high school, health care, college, and more.

I am just sick about his. I really hope in a day or 2 he comes around and comes back home. To be honest - I doubt he will. He is stubborn like that. He would rather live without then admit a mistake. I have made it clear he can return.

I really didn't see this coming. I didn't. I feel like I have been hit by a truck.

The Chicken report

Day 4 of dealing with the chicken pox. Poor Alex. She is covered head to toe. She has them in her mouth and throat. She has them in her unmentionables. She has been living off popsicles for the last few days. She is so hungry but it hurts so much to eat.

I miss hugging and kissing her but she is covered in spots and covered in calamine lotion. She has spent the last few nights moaning and groaning. Not sleeping well.

I feel for the kid. I really do. I just called in sick for her for the whole week. I doubt she will be ready to go back anytime soon. I don't think I can pack her a lunch of popsicles and send her off.

Work asked me not to come in. A lot of people at work are medically fragile. Getting chicken pox or shingles would not be good for them. I didn't have many hours to start off with and now I have less :( But what can you do.

Last night we were all sitting there watching TV and all of a sudden Alex says "An elastic band - bong bong bong." No idea where that came from!! I can't help but wonder what goes though her brain.

She is such a cutie. She is so bored. I am sick of board games. I am sick of her being sick. I imagine she is sick of it too.

Not that interesting today. But this is all I have dealt with for the last few days.

I hate the lady next door

I think she goes out of her way to make me look bad! Troy has been bugging me for 3 summers to stain the deck. I keep saying go get the stuff and I will and he never has.

Yesterday the lady next door sanded her whole deck, cleaned it off and then stained it. She put the 2nd coat on it today. She is now cutting the grass with the push mower instead of the rider - why? Because it's more exercise! She has just over an acre of land!!

I think she does this stuff to make me look bad!!!

Next up is me. I am under going a journey of less bitchiness. Apparently I am more moody then the average woman - no person.

See since I was pregnant with Alex I cry a lot. Over everything. I never use to be a crier but now I ball at the drop of the hat. Is that normal? I don't know. Aren't most woman more emotional once they become mothers? Or perhaps something is wrong with me. I find myself at least once a day fighting back tears over something. Something on the news or a story somebody told me.

Also I am moody. I have days where I am in a bitch. But again, don't we all have those days? I will admit, there are days when I know I am in a bad mood and there is nothing I can do about it. It's like being on a roller coaster - you can't get off until the ride is done. Do other people have days like that? Or is something wrong with me?

I also hate that whenever a woman is moody it is PMS or hormones or something. You can't just be a woman and be pissed off! If your a man - you can be pissed off all you want. Worse case your an ass and that is that. You don't see men running to their Dr's asking to be medicated because they are an ass.

Then when you go on meds and you are in a bad mood you get the "forget your happy pill today?" So matter what you do you're screwed.

I don't know. I am now trying out my 2nd med. The 1st one did nothing but give me dry mouth and an upset stomach. Do I need to be on meds? I don't know. I don't know what is normal. I don't have a gauge to compare myself too.

Maybe I am just crazy. If I am - is that so bad? But on the other hand, what if I can be happier? What if my emotions are holding me back? What if I have been living like this for 8 years and didn't have to be? I don't know. My journey continues.

What to post??

So what should I post in this blog? Please leave comments and let me know things you would like to see. I have to repeat everything I post at that other web site. So maybe I will have to split up my thoughts? Anyway, leave a comment - thanks

club house + fat ass = bad idea!

Yesterday while I was cooking supper Alex was cleaning out her club house. When supper was ready she asked if WE could eat in there. I said no because there is no tables or chairs. Alex said, "but Mom I just spent all that time cleaning it so you would!"

Fine!

I tossed a plastic table and chairs up to her. Then I had to climb the rope ladder to get up into the clubhouse (while I was still wearing my church clothes). Broke the rope ladder (in my defense, the rope ladder was there before we moved in. So it is over 10 years old. 10+ years of spring/summer/fall/winter and kids playing on it)

So we ate. Then I had to figure out how I was getting down. So slide it was. Well my leg locked and did some weird hop jump stumbling at the bottom. Alex of course is laughing her butt off.

So I have concluded that club house with rope ladder and slide + big @ss = very very bad idea!!

Today I just took 2 full garbage bags of toys out of the play room. These toys were the $ store ones, broken ones and the crap. Well you can't even tell I took anything out of there!! Scissors!! We are always looking for scissors. I fond 6 pairs and I haven't even got into the cleaning/organizing part yet!

Tomorrow I will organize it. I am sure I will get at least one more full bag, probably 2! Long over due!!

And how stupid am I? Last week I noticed I was almost out of mouse for my hair so I bought some. Got home and realized I somehow got hair spray instead. Put that away for later. Go out today to buy mouse. Get home and I got freaking hair spray again!! I swear it said mouse on it in the store!!

Sigh!!

Hey I have stuck to a budget for 2 weeks now. I am so proud of myself! I have not used visa once (normally I spend all my money that I make, then use visa and DH ends up paying it off) I can't count how many times I have said, "Nope sorry - it isn't in the budget.". I know 2 weeks of budgeting isn't too impressive, but I am impulsive. It is good for me.

Plus my nails have been long enough for me to bite them for 4 days now and I haven't bit them. I have been biting my nails since birth!! I tell you I am thinking about biting them 24/7. As I type my nails are hitting the keys instead of my figures and it is driving me nuts. I so want to bite them!

I have lost 10lbs and managed to keep it off for a month. I had wanted to lose another 10 before months end but I don't think that is going to happen. So I will try to lose 10lbs before the end of may.

Did you make it all the way to the end? In case you did here is a joke for you...2 cannibals were eating a clown. 1 cannibal says to the other - does this taste funny to you?