When it rains...

Need to replace the oil tank (for the furnace) because it is to old and the insurance company won't insure us unless we do.

Washing machine went - $800 to fix it!! So we bought a new one.

$$ for logosland, Ottawa trip, wood pellets, brakes. Anyone have a money tree?

So we took D to the trailer with us for 3 days. We saw him and Alex really misses him and so I invited him. I really didn't expect him to say yes, but he did.

Alex and I have been having the best summer ever together. She hasn't been freaking out, and when she does get upset it is minimal compared to how she use to freak out. Now it is over and dealt with quickly.

So D came with us. It was the worse 3 days at the trailer so far!! She had total meltdowns each day. Nothing was right, nothing was good enough. She ripped the strap off her shoe. It was really awful.

I noticed a huge change for the better in her when D moved out, but I honestly thought it was just her getting older. Now I am thinking it is D. Now when I say that I don't mean the D provoked her or did anything wrong. I think she is just stressed or over whelmed and doesn't know how to act.

Alex is very immature socially. When ever she has a friend over she fights with them and ends up freaking out. As much as she is lonely without other kids here, I am starting to think she is better off alone. I mean she seams to have such a hard time with there are extra people around. When it is just her, she is fine.

I don't know what to think anymore.

It was interesting having D with us. He has changed so much. He smokes now. He swore a bunch of times in front of Alex (not to Alex or at her, just in hearing range of her). He has a tattoo on his arm. Huge burn on his chest from a roman candle fight. And for some odd reason he told me he has lost his virginity and has girls sleeping over all the time.

He spent most of the time sleeping at the trailer. He didn't want to do anything with us. Just sleep. It was hard not to mother him. There were many times I wanted to say something but didn't. Like he had cookies for breakfast. He didn't really eat meals, he just eat all the junk food we had and snacks.

I don't know. He said he was happy. I am sad to see what he is becoming. He has plans to go on a road trip this weekend and get drunk. It's like the boy I knew is dead and this one has taken his place.

Anyway, it has been an interesting week.

thinking

Alex needs a sibling. I wish I had another child. It's too late now. I mean my tubes are tied, but even if they weren't and I got pregnant tonight, Alex would be 8 when the baby was born, so they wouldn't really be playmates.

Plus, well, Mich your son is such a cutie - but I just don't want to have to deal with all that now. Diapers, feedings, sleepless nights, and all the fun stuff that goes with a baby, the a toddler, then a pre-schooler.

Alex needs a playmate. She has a few friends but she fights with them all the time. She is so hard to get along with. I wish she at least had 1 good friend.

Regrets? I don't know. If we didn't foster I probably would have had another child. Really with all we went though with Little D, well a baby would be much more work then that!! But if we didn't foster I wouldn't have been able to stay home for so many years. So fostering meant I got to spend the 1st 5 years of Alex's life with her. But it also meant I wasn't up to having another kid because I had so much on my plate.

Now comes the question of if we want to still do it. Alex really wants us to take in more kids. I do enjoy kids. And I will be honest - the extra cash does help. But the other hand - I am having such a great time with Alex this summer. Just the 2 of us (3 when Troy isn't working). I don't know. Deep thoughts I guess.

But on to lighter things.

I swear that Sherk was modeled after Troy. They are both anti-social. They are both grumps. They both hate other people. They both fart and burp a lot. They both think they are funny. I swear they are the same!!

We went to the trailer and Alex saw that a chipmunk had been eating acorns and dropped the shells on the awning. She said, "look how dirty the awning is. It's because that chipmunk put his dirty nuts all over it!" LOL

And next my thoughts about mosquito's. If they sucked fat instead of blood - think about it!! A weekend camping trip would be free liposuction. Woman would rub mosquito's attractant on instead of repellent. You also have to wonder - why didn't Noah kill the mosquito's when there was only 2?

Deep thoughts. Light thoughts. Lots of thoughts. Too many thoughts.

Been a while

Well school is out and summer vacation is in full swing. In the fall I laughed at some parents because they label all their kids stuff. I get labeling shoes and clothes and backpacks. I just can't imagine spending the time to label every pencil and marker. I mean the labels cost as much as replacing the item!! Makes no sense to me and it is time consuming.

Anyway Alex comes home with all her stuff. In her pencil case is pens, pencils, markers, pencil crayons and whatever else. Everything has a name on it - none of the names is Alex, lol. So all you pencil labelers - it is my kid who steals all your kids school supplies!! Alex said she is queen of the pencils. Whenever a classmate needed a pencil she always gave them one.

I think the reason they needed a pencil is because Alex stole theirs in the 1st place, lol.

So we have a trailer and a seasonal spot at a trailer park. Alex and I have been up there since school let out. No cell service or internet. I am in withdraw!! I mean honestly, how do people survive with out cell or internet?

It has been 2 weeks and we have had 2 snake encounters. Between that and no cell or internet, I am starting to wonder if this was a good idea!?!?

1st snake - Alex went running up to a shed to show me how small it was. She almost stepped on it. I don't know how big it was because I only saw it's tail going into the shed. But it was black and the tail was as thick as a quarter. Alex was so close to stepping on it!

2nd snake was a water snake. Alex said she thinks she saw a water snake. I asked her to show me but she couldn't find it and concluded it must have been a stick. Another mother said she had been coming to the lake for years and never once saw a water snake. So we play and time go by. Then the Mother quickly walks out of the water and says to me there was a snake and it was under the dock.

The snake wasn't afraid of people. It was chasing after the people as they were fleeing from the water. Of course it was all mothers and children there so we are all out of the water screaming and acting like babies. Then a father came along and we asked him scare it away. He hit it with a frisbee. It turned upside down and floated back under the dock. Everyone was sure it was dead and went back to playing in the water.

Not me though. If it was dead then it would have floated out the other side of the dock. It must be alive and wrapped under the dock. The morning turns to afternoon and then to evening. The kids found clams and wanted to crack one open to see inside. They were banging on them on the dock. I guess all the banging was enough for Mr.Water snake because out from the dock he came. Thankfully he just swam away. I watched him as long as I could. He was a fast swimmer!

I hate snakes!!

I lathered Alex and I in sun block yesterday. I reapplied it to Alex several times but only once to myself. My head, face, shoulders, boobs, arms and legs are burnt!! But I would rather be burnt them shoveling snow!! So I am not complaining.

Now I am home for a few days. Stinking work getting in the way of summer vacation!! Work has been hard this summer. They offer me shifts and I do need the money. But every day I work is less time I spend at the trailer!

Alex and I are loving the trailer. This has been an awesome summer so far.

Another plus is I get new glasses soon. These ones are getting to be so beat up. End of the month I get new ones. Hey Mich - you should come with me to pick them out. I can't see and I hate relying on the sales lady to tell me what looks good and not.

What do other people do? I really can't see without my glasses. I have to stick my nose to the mirror to see what they look like and even that isn't clear. I use to wear contacts so I could see what they would look like but I haven't wore them in ages.

Thats all for now folks.