I hate the lady next door

I think she goes out of her way to make me look bad! Troy has been bugging me for 3 summers to stain the deck. I keep saying go get the stuff and I will and he never has.

Yesterday the lady next door sanded her whole deck, cleaned it off and then stained it. She put the 2nd coat on it today. She is now cutting the grass with the push mower instead of the rider - why? Because it's more exercise! She has just over an acre of land!!

I think she does this stuff to make me look bad!!!

Next up is me. I am under going a journey of less bitchiness. Apparently I am more moody then the average woman - no person.

See since I was pregnant with Alex I cry a lot. Over everything. I never use to be a crier but now I ball at the drop of the hat. Is that normal? I don't know. Aren't most woman more emotional once they become mothers? Or perhaps something is wrong with me. I find myself at least once a day fighting back tears over something. Something on the news or a story somebody told me.

Also I am moody. I have days where I am in a bitch. But again, don't we all have those days? I will admit, there are days when I know I am in a bad mood and there is nothing I can do about it. It's like being on a roller coaster - you can't get off until the ride is done. Do other people have days like that? Or is something wrong with me?

I also hate that whenever a woman is moody it is PMS or hormones or something. You can't just be a woman and be pissed off! If your a man - you can be pissed off all you want. Worse case your an ass and that is that. You don't see men running to their Dr's asking to be medicated because they are an ass.

Then when you go on meds and you are in a bad mood you get the "forget your happy pill today?" So matter what you do you're screwed.

I don't know. I am now trying out my 2nd med. The 1st one did nothing but give me dry mouth and an upset stomach. Do I need to be on meds? I don't know. I don't know what is normal. I don't have a gauge to compare myself too.

Maybe I am just crazy. If I am - is that so bad? But on the other hand, what if I can be happier? What if my emotions are holding me back? What if I have been living like this for 8 years and didn't have to be? I don't know. My journey continues.