entertaining yourself

When you 1st get married you have fun and games that you play. You are happy and enjoy everyday. After a while you get into a routine and life becomes predictable. It is in these times when you must entertain yourself. I have been looking for something to do to entertain myself for a while now and I think I may have finally found it.

Now before I go any further I must take you back a few years, to the cold war...the laundry war!

Troy wanted me to put the laundry away everyday. I like living out of laundry baskets and lets face it - I am lazy! I get home late one night, only thinking about going to bed, and when I get there what do I find? The bed filled with clothes to be put away. I was pissed. So I put away my own and pushed all of Troys to his side of the bed.

Troy put away his clothes, then went outside and snow plowed all the snow around my car.

Now Troys big mistake was to take this on while he was on midnights, From that day on I would wait about 1/2 hour after he went to bed. Then I crept into the bed room to get my clothes...opps the drawer got away from me and slammed...opps I banged into something in the dark...hold on I just need to turn on the light for a minute to see if this is my brown or black shirt.

Then I would wait another 10 minutes and go back in for something I forgot. I won that war. The laundry gets put away when I decide it needs to be done.

Now back to present day. How am I going to entertain myself? I have decided that each day I am going to put away my clothes. I am not going to say anything to Troy and wait until he notices. When he does I will stop doing it.

Why? Because I can. Because I am childish. Why not?

I will let you know how this plays out. Only Troys clothes are down here right now.

Next thing is the tool belt. Next spring Troy plans to buy a plastic prefab shed for at the trailer. One of the kinds that just snap together. He is excepting me to put it together. I told him I would need a pink tool belt with pink tools in order to do it.

He looked at me like I was dumb and explained it all snapped together I wouldn't need any tools.

Now I am not dumb. I know I don't need tools or a belt. But here is how I look at it. If I look like I know what I am doing, I will feel like I know what I am doing and I will be able to do it. Plus I will look like I know for the neighbours.

Troy just thinks I am a weirdo. In my defense - He had many years to figure out I am a weirdo - it isn't my fault he is just figuring it out!

Lastly - The island of the misfit animals.

We went again to a petting zoo. At this zoo they have...a blind house broken pig that will poop in any other stale but her own, blind bunny, a 20 year old goat who thinks it is pregnant (it isn't) and is lactating, a goat with a sore tummy, cripple chicken, ducks that play tag, a friendly bull that like to play and be pet, 2 horses on pain meds for life because the previous owner didn't look after them and a christmas donkey. Oh and 3 lama's.

We are able to pet and feed all the animals. Alex really likes the lama's. Why? Because one snotted on me twice. That's right I had to walk around with lama snot on me! She also likes the pig - why? Because it started eating my pant legs and left slober all over it.

Alex spent all day there. I had to drag her away. She loved petting all the animals. Loved having the ducks and chickens chasing her around. Loved that the bunnies didn't run scared from her. Loved to feel how soft the donkeys ears were. Love to walk the goat like he was a dog.

Alex said she wants to go live on a farm. She will have to marry a farmer because there is no way this girl is moving to a farm!

back again

I took Alex to the doctors for a follow up to her UTI. The doctor wanted to know why we came in. I explain the doctor at the hospital said our family doctor needed records of each UTI in case they become conic and told us to book a follow up appointment. The doctor said that was jumping the gun but put it all in the computer anyway.

I also asked about Alex getting an itchy throat when she eats fruit and veggies. I explain that Troy has the same thing. The doctor asked if Troy had seen his doctor about it and I told him - the last time he went in for something he ended up getting a needle and a colonoscopy. The doctor smiled and said that would do it and then he got all serious and asked - did he go in for an oral allergy and end up with a colonascopy? I said no, lol.

So Alex is being refereed to a allergist in Kingston.

Troy and Alex spent a weekend together at the trailer. It went well. Only 1 freak out and it was minor. Alex declared that Dad was only good for farting and burping, lol.

Alex has decided she doesn't like grade 3. The work is harder and she gets more homework. I hate doing homework with her. It is like pulling teeth. I am making it consistent so we do it at the same time each night.

I got new glasses and no one noticed!! Now I admit the are the same shape as my old ones, but the are very different. Poor me, lol.

And now on to some deep thoughts...

Alex and I were walking and just out of the blue she hugged me and said she loved me. It was one of those moments that parents live for. When all the troubles and worry melt away and you only feel love in that moment. But it got me thinking...

When was the last time I gave my mom a real I love you? I mean each time we talk I say love you when I hang up. But it is meaningless and just like saying good bye. When I visit I hug her when I leave but again it isn't an I love you hug.

I think the last real time I gave my mom a real I love you would have been 13 or 14 years ago. I was living on my own - dirt poor and couldn't afford gifts for Christmas. So I wrote my mom and step dad a letter. A real I love you letter and thanking them for the things they had done. They had both cried when they read them. My step-father carried his around in his wallet until he died - I found that out when he died.

Now on one hand I feel really bad for not giving my mom more real I love yous. I know as a parent how wonderful that feeling is. But at the same time - well if you knew the things she did and what not you would probably understand why I don't.

I am jealous of those people who have that deep bond with their mothers. I want that. But I also know I will never get it with my mom. That saddens me. I really hope Alex and I have it. I would hate for her to feel about me the way I feel about my mom.

But my question for you all is - when is the last time you gave your mom a real I love you? Think about it.

Been forever since I posted

I spent the summer at the lake. No Internet means no posting from me. Lots has happened - of course now that I sit down to do this I forget half of it, lol.

My great Aunt passed away. I went to the funeral. You have those family members there that you only see at weddings and funerals. I was there before my mom showed up. Each and every single relative that showed up walked up to me, hugged me and kissed me (gross!) and said, "Sandy! You look so good!" To which I replied that I was Laurie, Sandy's daughter. They all commented on how much we look a like (great I look like a 58 year old chain smoker with a glass eye and half a foot!).

My great aunt (not the dead one but her sister who is 90) went though the whole I look like mom and then finished it off with, "The last time I saw you, you were tiny! But don't worry, your mom was fat for a while and then she lost it. Once you lost the weight you will look so pretty!"

Thanks Aunt Rose - I feel so happy now!

The whole talk of the funeral was how much I look like my mom.

Alex had a loose tooth all summer long. It was sticking out, she looked like Nanny Mcphee! I have been carrying around change for 2 months waiting for it to come out. I head for Ottawa for 1 night and it comes out! Dh had to look in the couch for change!! Figures!

Alex got her hair cut. It is a bob cut but it is shorter in the bad and longer in the front. It looks real cute on her.

Fat Tony won 3 ribbons at the fair this year and Ermie the guinea pig won 2 ribbons. Alex was quite happy with that.

oh - got to go - I will post more later...

this and that

OK someone in VGS is selling clothes that would fit Alex and are things she would wear. The problem is she generally will wear 1 pair of pants (so I buy 10-12 pairs of the same pants). So by buying pants off this lady I would have different pairs or different pants and I wouldn't be able to buy any more.

The pros to doing this are: Alex is doing better and trying more. I just don't know if she is at spot where she would wear different pants. If would get her use to different pants and maybe make her more flexible. It would be more cost effective.

Cons are - if she loves one pair of pants more then the others she may refuse to wear anything but those pants. Then I have to either wash them every night (not doing that again!) or make the disappear and live in hell for a week or so. Plus go out and find 10 pairs of pants that are all the same for her (and no one store has 10 pairs on the same pants in the same size. I either have to order them off line of visit different cities to get enough)

I don't know. I want her to be exposed to more so she can get use to more and be more flexible.

Should I or shouldn't I?

Now for the this and that.

We went to logosland (google it). This lady was wearing a high cut bathing suit. Now the only hair do she could have downtown was a very thin mohawk (or racing strip) or bald.

However this lady had not mowed the lawn at all. She didn't even do any trim work. She didn't have a lawn - she had a hay field!!

Anyway standing on the beach you could really easily see all her hair sticking out everywhere. Now if that wasn't enough she kept going into the lake, doing handstands in the water and doing the splits while doing these handstands. All that was missing was a neon sign pointing at her crotch saying "LOOK HERE!"

The part the bothered me most was her legs and pits were shaved. Her eyebrows were clearly sculpted. And yet she totally over looked or didn't care to maintain her lawn.

She could have worn a swim skit or did a quick weed whacking job. She had to know we all could see that.

Also this other lady was wearing a swim suit that almost matched her skin toned exactly. It was kind of disturbing because she looked naked at the beach, lol.

Alex had a friend over last night and tonight. We were at the trailer last night. They were getting along great, Left me to read a book? - didn't have one. Do a puzzle? - can only do so many. Get lost in my thoughts? - turns out my thoughts are deep enough to get lost in! I was bored!

Least now we are at home and I can watch TV or surf the net.

Off tomorrow to our nations capital. Staying until Sunday. Don't know what we are doing yet.

When it rains...

Need to replace the oil tank (for the furnace) because it is to old and the insurance company won't insure us unless we do.

Washing machine went - $800 to fix it!! So we bought a new one.

$$ for logosland, Ottawa trip, wood pellets, brakes. Anyone have a money tree?

So we took D to the trailer with us for 3 days. We saw him and Alex really misses him and so I invited him. I really didn't expect him to say yes, but he did.

Alex and I have been having the best summer ever together. She hasn't been freaking out, and when she does get upset it is minimal compared to how she use to freak out. Now it is over and dealt with quickly.

So D came with us. It was the worse 3 days at the trailer so far!! She had total meltdowns each day. Nothing was right, nothing was good enough. She ripped the strap off her shoe. It was really awful.

I noticed a huge change for the better in her when D moved out, but I honestly thought it was just her getting older. Now I am thinking it is D. Now when I say that I don't mean the D provoked her or did anything wrong. I think she is just stressed or over whelmed and doesn't know how to act.

Alex is very immature socially. When ever she has a friend over she fights with them and ends up freaking out. As much as she is lonely without other kids here, I am starting to think she is better off alone. I mean she seams to have such a hard time with there are extra people around. When it is just her, she is fine.

I don't know what to think anymore.

It was interesting having D with us. He has changed so much. He smokes now. He swore a bunch of times in front of Alex (not to Alex or at her, just in hearing range of her). He has a tattoo on his arm. Huge burn on his chest from a roman candle fight. And for some odd reason he told me he has lost his virginity and has girls sleeping over all the time.

He spent most of the time sleeping at the trailer. He didn't want to do anything with us. Just sleep. It was hard not to mother him. There were many times I wanted to say something but didn't. Like he had cookies for breakfast. He didn't really eat meals, he just eat all the junk food we had and snacks.

I don't know. He said he was happy. I am sad to see what he is becoming. He has plans to go on a road trip this weekend and get drunk. It's like the boy I knew is dead and this one has taken his place.

Anyway, it has been an interesting week.

thinking

Alex needs a sibling. I wish I had another child. It's too late now. I mean my tubes are tied, but even if they weren't and I got pregnant tonight, Alex would be 8 when the baby was born, so they wouldn't really be playmates.

Plus, well, Mich your son is such a cutie - but I just don't want to have to deal with all that now. Diapers, feedings, sleepless nights, and all the fun stuff that goes with a baby, the a toddler, then a pre-schooler.

Alex needs a playmate. She has a few friends but she fights with them all the time. She is so hard to get along with. I wish she at least had 1 good friend.

Regrets? I don't know. If we didn't foster I probably would have had another child. Really with all we went though with Little D, well a baby would be much more work then that!! But if we didn't foster I wouldn't have been able to stay home for so many years. So fostering meant I got to spend the 1st 5 years of Alex's life with her. But it also meant I wasn't up to having another kid because I had so much on my plate.

Now comes the question of if we want to still do it. Alex really wants us to take in more kids. I do enjoy kids. And I will be honest - the extra cash does help. But the other hand - I am having such a great time with Alex this summer. Just the 2 of us (3 when Troy isn't working). I don't know. Deep thoughts I guess.

But on to lighter things.

I swear that Sherk was modeled after Troy. They are both anti-social. They are both grumps. They both hate other people. They both fart and burp a lot. They both think they are funny. I swear they are the same!!

We went to the trailer and Alex saw that a chipmunk had been eating acorns and dropped the shells on the awning. She said, "look how dirty the awning is. It's because that chipmunk put his dirty nuts all over it!" LOL

And next my thoughts about mosquito's. If they sucked fat instead of blood - think about it!! A weekend camping trip would be free liposuction. Woman would rub mosquito's attractant on instead of repellent. You also have to wonder - why didn't Noah kill the mosquito's when there was only 2?

Deep thoughts. Light thoughts. Lots of thoughts. Too many thoughts.

Been a while

Well school is out and summer vacation is in full swing. In the fall I laughed at some parents because they label all their kids stuff. I get labeling shoes and clothes and backpacks. I just can't imagine spending the time to label every pencil and marker. I mean the labels cost as much as replacing the item!! Makes no sense to me and it is time consuming.

Anyway Alex comes home with all her stuff. In her pencil case is pens, pencils, markers, pencil crayons and whatever else. Everything has a name on it - none of the names is Alex, lol. So all you pencil labelers - it is my kid who steals all your kids school supplies!! Alex said she is queen of the pencils. Whenever a classmate needed a pencil she always gave them one.

I think the reason they needed a pencil is because Alex stole theirs in the 1st place, lol.

So we have a trailer and a seasonal spot at a trailer park. Alex and I have been up there since school let out. No cell service or internet. I am in withdraw!! I mean honestly, how do people survive with out cell or internet?

It has been 2 weeks and we have had 2 snake encounters. Between that and no cell or internet, I am starting to wonder if this was a good idea!?!?

1st snake - Alex went running up to a shed to show me how small it was. She almost stepped on it. I don't know how big it was because I only saw it's tail going into the shed. But it was black and the tail was as thick as a quarter. Alex was so close to stepping on it!

2nd snake was a water snake. Alex said she thinks she saw a water snake. I asked her to show me but she couldn't find it and concluded it must have been a stick. Another mother said she had been coming to the lake for years and never once saw a water snake. So we play and time go by. Then the Mother quickly walks out of the water and says to me there was a snake and it was under the dock.

The snake wasn't afraid of people. It was chasing after the people as they were fleeing from the water. Of course it was all mothers and children there so we are all out of the water screaming and acting like babies. Then a father came along and we asked him scare it away. He hit it with a frisbee. It turned upside down and floated back under the dock. Everyone was sure it was dead and went back to playing in the water.

Not me though. If it was dead then it would have floated out the other side of the dock. It must be alive and wrapped under the dock. The morning turns to afternoon and then to evening. The kids found clams and wanted to crack one open to see inside. They were banging on them on the dock. I guess all the banging was enough for Mr.Water snake because out from the dock he came. Thankfully he just swam away. I watched him as long as I could. He was a fast swimmer!

I hate snakes!!

I lathered Alex and I in sun block yesterday. I reapplied it to Alex several times but only once to myself. My head, face, shoulders, boobs, arms and legs are burnt!! But I would rather be burnt them shoveling snow!! So I am not complaining.

Now I am home for a few days. Stinking work getting in the way of summer vacation!! Work has been hard this summer. They offer me shifts and I do need the money. But every day I work is less time I spend at the trailer!

Alex and I are loving the trailer. This has been an awesome summer so far.

Another plus is I get new glasses soon. These ones are getting to be so beat up. End of the month I get new ones. Hey Mich - you should come with me to pick them out. I can't see and I hate relying on the sales lady to tell me what looks good and not.

What do other people do? I really can't see without my glasses. I have to stick my nose to the mirror to see what they look like and even that isn't clear. I use to wear contacts so I could see what they would look like but I haven't wore them in ages.

Thats all for now folks.